when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Randomize