omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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