we're chasing vodka with high fives
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize