he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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