Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
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He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
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If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
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