your parents love me but you hate me
How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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