I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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