I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
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