i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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