I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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