You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize