jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
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