Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize