It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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