I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
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My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Randomize