I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
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