Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
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I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
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