Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
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I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
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Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
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