If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
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