i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
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