me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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