If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize