Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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