Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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