Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
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you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
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DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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