Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize