just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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