Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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