office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize