ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize