Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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