idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
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did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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