there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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