that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
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