Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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