Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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