After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize