I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
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I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize