My friends, they love my intelligence
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
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