Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
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