you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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