the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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