a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize