I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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