Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize