WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
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He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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