last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
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Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
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We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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