idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
He kissed a someone with a penis
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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