she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
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I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
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If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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