I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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